THE JESTER'S JOKE

A poetical play by Anne and Peter White - Copyright 1987 onwards - All rights reserved

"The Jester's Joke" is a poetic piece extracted and modified from the Bible story "Queen Esther" - a light hearted, humorous and typically slapstick poetical play which I wrote together with my husband Peter, and of which we enjoyed greatly (and so did the children and teachers) performing around the schools in our younger days.

In the play "Queen Esther", the King is forgiven for deserting his wife Queen Vashti. He is also let off the hook for parading a succession of women at his palace and finally discovering his new found wife - the beautiful Esther. His ending is happy with God on his side. "The Jester's Joke" on the other hand is a different kettle of fish. The King gets no forgiveness. Like the other King, he deserts his first wife and conducts a women's parade. He lives foolishly, and finally ends up thoroughly miserable - facing the wrath of God. An irony (paradox) I happened to stumble upon.

Should anyone be interested in performing our plays at their schools, festivals and other venues, please contact us via this page

THE JESTER'S JOKE

(Jester narrates)
There was a King who had a good life,
Moreover, he had a very good wife.
Though he did not realise at the time,
And after much drinking of wine from his vine
He decided to send his good old wife packing,
For he felt in his life there was something lacking,
Then he called on his servants and officers too,
Saying: "Bring me some maidens for me to view!"

(King shouts))

How many more must you bring to me who look just like the rest?
Already I've said a thousand times - I only want the best!

(1st maiden enters, singing song)

Here's a toast unto your Majesty trah la, la la, la la,
Trah la la, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la la la la....
We bow the knee your Majesty, trah la, la la, la la,
Trah la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

(King)
Oh no! What a blow! You look so mean and crabby.
She's not just ugly like a crab, but also very scabby.
I want to see the next one and this time not so shabby!

Next one!

(2nd maiden enters singing song)

Here's a toast unto your Majesty trah la, la la, la la,
Trah la la, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la la la la....
We drink to you so merrily, trah la, la la, la la,
Trah la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

(King)

Oh my, I've never seen a maiden who looks so like a horse,
You're no better than the others and just as coarse - of course!
Have you come straight from the farm chewing straw and hay?
If my judgment serves me right - she knows how to nay!

Next one!

(3rd maiden enters singing)

Here's a toast unto your Majesty trah la, la la, la la,
Trah la la, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la la la la....
I dance to you majestically, trah la, la la, la la,
Trah la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

(King)

This one looks just like a duck and quacks just like one too,
I wander where she came from - did she come from the zoo?
Guards tell her to quack off or I'll go off my rocker,
By taking off my shoe and sock just so I can sock her,
Which will knock her blocker off her!

Next one!

(4th maiden enters singing)

Here's a toast unto your Majesty trah la, la la, la la,
Trah la la, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la la la la....
May you always know prosperity, trah la, la la, la la,
Trah la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la.

(King)
Help! You/she needs a face lift just like the rest,
How many more times - I only want the best!

(King wails and moans)

Woe is me, I feel so sad my good old wife did make me glad.
Now I'll see her face no more. Why did I ever show her the door?

(Jester narrates)

The moral of this tale is easy to tell,
If you have a good wife, then treat her well.
For too many maidens and too much wine,
Sent the King mad in a moment of time.
For love is blind and beauty skin deep,
Love with true virtue is not cheap.
Therefore, if blessed with a really good wife,
Be content with your lot in life,
Forsake her not - yea, treat her well,
Thus being spared from the pangs of hell,
Your tale will surely be happy to tell.
So, be careful not to provoke God's wrath,
For too many cooks do spoil the broth.

Anne L. White & Peter S. White copyright

Sleeping Beauty

A poetical play created by Anne White (Zipporah Simon) Copyright 1987 onwards - All rights reserved
This play is designed for professional live musical performance, complete with backing
songs, music and voice. If schools, companies, theatres, publishers or anyone would like to license this play for
commercial/educational or for any other purposes, please contact Anne via this page

INTRODUCTION:

Hello everyone. I am here to tell you one of the most enchanting fairy stories ever told - about a beautiful princess for whom time stood still for a hundred years, and a brave Prince whose courage and determination led him to sleeping beauty. With a kiss he redeemed her life and won her love.

Scene 1

NARRATION:
Now, once upon a time there was a king and queen who lived in a castle at the top of a hill. They were very lonely because they did not have any children.
One day, as it was such a fine warm spring afternoon, they decided to sit outside in the castle gardens and have tea and cake. Most of the time they just sat gazing together at the beautiful flowers and watched all the pretty butterflies flitting and flying from petal to petal for what seemed like hours, but alas, the King couldn't help but notice that as the sun began to set in the distant horizon, his beloved wife began to look more and more sad, so he asked her what the matter was.
The Queen replied that she could never really be happy without child to love and cherish...........

(Queen) I wish we could have a child to call our very own,
But there's no sign of one, and my heart feels heavy like a stone.
(King) Cheer up - don't be sad. Look on the bright side for things are not so bad. Even now it's not too late since all things come to those who wait.

(King leaves and fairy enters)

(Fairy) I bring you good news in magical style,
You will give birth to a child in a very short while.
So smile and be happy for this is your day,
When sorrow and tears shall fly away.

(Queen) A child? This sounds too good to be true. Please tell me who are you?
(Fairy) Farewell
(Fairy flies away)
(Queen) Please! Don't go! How strange she has suddenly disappeared. Have I imagined all this - it seems very weird.

Scene 2

NARRATION:

It came to pass - just as the fairy had said, the queen gave birth to a beautiful baby girl whom she named Briar Rose. The King and queen were so overjoyed that they decided to celebrate with a big banquet. All their friends and relatives including everyone from the local village were invited.
The King suddenly remembered the twelve wise ladies who lived nearby, so he sent them special invitations, unfortunately, he completely forgot about the thirteenth lady. Naturally, she was very angry.
On the day of the banquet every one came to admire the newborn princess. Afterwards, each of the wise ladies gave a blessing.

(Wise ladies enter)
(1st wise lady) You shall always be faithful, honest and true, good and kind in all that you do.
(2nd wise lady) You shall always be loved for who you are, and forever led by a guiding star.
(3rd wise lady) You shall be intelligent and bright - your being so full of light.
(4th wise lady) You shall have great riches and regard the humble - you will give to the poor so they do not grumble.
(5th wise lady) You shall have a beauty so pure and fair - your eyes bluer than bluebells and a crown of golden hair.

(Hushed frightened voices)
(The 13th wicked lady appears) It's the 13th lady ... (Gasps and whispers are heard).

(Wicked lady)
I've come to cast a spell on you to make you sleep for a hundred years.
No one will wake you even if they cry a hundred tears.
No matter how hard they try,
Still dead on your bed you will lie.
And to make you die is a simple trick,
For on a spinning wheel your finger will prick - ha, ha, he, he...........

(Queen holding baby Briar) Now my life is a sad tale to tell for that wicked lady has cast a spell.

(Turning to one of the wise ladies) Oh please will you break this awful spell on my child?

(Wise lady)
To break the spell I can not do,
But listen to me for my words are true.
Your child shall not die, but only sleep,
For grace and mercy - her soul will keep.
And although the spell sounds very alarming,
There is a Prince called Prince Charming.
Should one day he give her a kiss,
The princess will awake to a life of bliss.

Scene 3

NARRATION:
Immediately the King and Queen ordered every spinning wheel to be destroyed throughout land, so there was not a single one left.
The years passed by and the baby grew into a lovely little girl. Briar rose was a very inquisitive child - she never stopped asking questions, then one day whilst walking with her Mother in the castle garden, she asked a very awkward question.

(Briar rose) I've never seen a spinning wheel, do they exist are they real?
(Queen)
They did exist in days before,
But there are no spinning wheels any more.
The king and I specially planned,
There be not a single one left in the land.
Now why don't you go and play on this lovely bright day.
(Briar Rose)
Ok, but can I go to the top of the castle today,
I promise not to lose my way.
I've heard there's a secret room with a hidden door,
Where no one has ever been before.
It sounds so exciting and so very inviting!

(Queen)
I'm sorry Briar rose you can not go,
So my answer is no.
The secret room is so dark and hidden,
And to enter its walls is strictly forbidden.
So just do as I say and go and play.

(Queen departs) (Crow enters and sings)
I fly up- I fly down - I fly round and around,
I fly here, I fly there and I fly everywhere.
Hello - I'm over here - can you see me, can you see me,
No I'm not - I'm over here - do you see me, do you see me.
Yoo hoo , I'm down here - can you see me, can you see me,
I fly up I fly down - I fly round and around I fly round and round.
(Princess) Yes I can
(Crow) No you can't
(Princess) Yes I can
(Crow) No you ca -aant.
(Crow) I fly up - I fly down - I fly round and around I fly here I fly there and I fly everywhere.
(End of music)

(Briar rose) Hello. Who are you?
(Crow) I'm a very clever crow - didn't you know?
(Briar rose) Well, since you're very clever, maybe you could tell me if you've ever flown to the top of the castle,
Where's there's a secret door - where no one's ever gone before.
(Crow) But of course, I fly there everyday - if you want to follow me, I will lead the way.
(Briar rose, thoughtful) Hmm... Well thank you for your kind offer,
But if you don't mind I'd rather not bother.
My parents have said no, so I'd better not go,
It's only right and proper to obey my father and mother.
(Crow) Ok, see you another day.
(Crow flies off)

Scene 4

NARRATION:
The years passed quickly by and little Briar rose had grown into a beautiful Princess. One day, the King and Queen were going away to visit friends, so they left instructions for the princess to look after the castle. They also reminded her not to go to the top of the castle in search of the secret room with the hidden door.
Now, when they had departed the princess began to feel rather bored and wandered how she could pass the time away when suddenly she thought she heard an old familiar sound; The flapping of wings.

(Princess) Hello? Who's there - who's there?
(Crow returns singing)
I fly up- I fly down - I fly round and around,
I fly here, I fly there and I fly everywhere.
Hello - I'm over here - can you see me, can you see me,
No I'm not - I'm over here - do you see me, do you see me.
Yoo hoo , I'm down here - can you see me, can you see me,
I fly up I fly down - I fly round and around I fly round and round.

(Princess) Well, hello Mr Crow, where have you been all these years?
(Crow) I've been to the room at the top of the stairs.
(Princess)
Please will you take me there, I would love to go,
If you lead the way, I will happily follow.
After all there is nothing to lose,
And now that I'm grown up, I'm old enough to choose.
(Crow) Ok. Come this way.
(Flow flaps wings/ Princess follows)

Scene 5

NARRATION:
Step by step the Princess followed the crow up the winding stairs. The climb was so steep and long she wandered if she would ever get there. Finally she reached the top, and noticed the crow had disappeared. Everywhere was full of long misty corridors that seemed to lead nowhere. Left all alone, she wandered around aimlessly, when suddenly in front of her was a very strange looking door. "This must surely be the hidden door to the secret room", she said quietly to herself, and felt so excited to have found it at last. Very slowly she turned the key in the door. Her heart beat faster and faster as the door opened to reveal its long awaited secret.

(Princess) What is that you have in your hand it looks so amazing and oh so grand!
(13th lady)
It's a spinning wheel my dear,
Listen carefully - can you hear.
It makes a noise as it turns around,
And spins fine linen which falls to the ground.

(Princess) Please can I touch your spinning wheel? Can I work it myself - is it real?
(13th lady) Come closer my dear - do have a try, but don't prick your finger or you will die!

(Princess) Ouch! I've pricked my finger!

Scene 6

NARRATION:
The Princess now began her long sleep for a hundred years, and one by one everyone else fell asleep including all the servants and maids. Even the animals and tiny insects helplessly nodded off, and the sound of loud snoring filled every corner of the castle. That same day the King and Queen had just returned from their long journey, and as they looked for the princess, they too fell asleep. Very soon, the lovely old oak tree in the castle grounds grew bigger and bigger - wrapping its thick branches around the castle until the castle could no longer be seen, save, the very top where the princess lay.

Now one day when the hundred years had passed, a certain handsome young man named prince charming heard of the tragic news and decided he must rescue the princess. His parents begged him not to go for they feared his life would be in danger. Many noble men had previously tried to rescue the princess, only to be strangled by the branches, but the brave prince took no account for his life and immediately set off on his horse. Using his sword he cut and hacked his way through the thick and dangerous branches until finally he was inside the castle. He was amazed to find everyone asleep and immediately searched for the princess, but could not find her. Suddenly through the mist, he noticed some strange winding stairs, and made haste to climb them. Upon reaching the top, he noticed a strange looking hidden door covered in cobwebs and sleeping spiders. Very slowly he opened the old creaking door, whereupon - right there before his very eyes, lay the sleeping princess. As he gazed upon her lovely face, his eyes filled up with tears. He wandered how any one could be so cruel as to cast a spell on such a beautiful and innocent creature. Gently, he knelt down and kissed her.
The princess began to slowly stir and woke up to find a most handsome young man kneeling at her side.

(Princess stirring) What has happened? Where am I? Is this heaven? Did I die?

(Prince charming)
You did not die - but were asleep,
Whilst love watched on your soul to keep.
Until such time, I came to your side,
And woke you up to be my bride.
You have arisen to a bright new day,
Where sorrow and tears have passed away.
No more will you be lonely and sad,
Now is the time to rejoice and be glad.
Forever our days will be filled with bliss,
And together our love is sealed with a kiss.

NARRATION:
Everyone that day woke up from their very long sleep, and so life continued as usual. The old oak tree had shrunk to its normal size. The maids were making the beds. The servants were serving the food. The dogs were barking and chasing the cats. The cats were meowing and chasing the mice. The mice were squeaking and nibbling some cheese. In fact everywhere was buzzing with life. All the people were so happy to see the royal family again, and overjoyed that their beloved princess was going to be wed. The proud King and Queen where indeed the happiest parents on earth and invited everyone to the wedding.
On the wedding day, joyful sounds of celebration could be heard as people eagerly waited to catch a glimpse of the newly wed couple.
And so the prince and princess lived happily ever after.

THE JESTER'S JOKE

THE JESTER'S JOKE

Sleeping Beauty

INTRODUCTION:

Scene 1

Scene 2

Scene 3

Scene 4

Scene 5

Scene 6

THE END